Squirrel. Thief. Patriot.

PORT HURON, Mich. (AP) -- Squirrel. Thief. Patriot.
A brazen squirrel has been grabbing small American flags placed in a Port Huron, Mich., cemetery and carrying them up to its nest, which now looks as if it's bedecked in bunting.
Every Memorial Day, volunteers place the flags next to the graves of nearly 1,000 veterans buried at Mount Hope Cemetery about 55 miles northeast of Detroit. The flags were undisturbed during a Mass held Monday.
The Times Herald reports that workers at the cemetery on Tuesday noticed several flags had been torn off their wooden staffs, which were still in the ground.
The mystery was solved in front of superintendent Ron Ceglarek's eyes. He watched a squirrel detach a flag stapled to a staff and carry it up a tree to the nest.

As a writer, I'd like to believe I could have come up with the lede of this story. For you laymen out there (yes, you) "lede" is a journalism term. You wouldn't understand. Point is, I'm green with envy that this story didn't happen in my neck of the woods. And by my "neck of the woods" I mean my front yard. The squirrels around me aren't nearly this creative. Though, I should give them points for their suicidal acrobatics. Those little guys don't care how high up they are, or how brittle the branch that they're standing on. They're jumping.