Blackberry vs. Blackberries Pt. 2

FEDERAL WAY, Wash. (AP) -- The police chief of the south Seattle suburb of Federal Way has issued a public apology for a minor traffic accident that happened while he was checking his BlackBerry in his unmarked police car.
The city summed it up Thursday in a news release that began "Federal Way Police Chief Brian Wilson is mortified." Apparently Wilson stopped for a red light on March 18 and glanced down at his BlackBerry to view newspaper headlines and e-mails. He then took his foot off the brake and collided with the car in front of him.
The Seattle Times reports no one was injured and the cars weren't damaged.
Still, City Manager Neal Beets gave Wilson a verbal reprimand.
The police chief says he takes full responsibility.

This post is specifically for C.Ropp and Barry Allen. A word to the wise, gentlemen. A word to the wise.

Heart warming.

Dog Saves Other Injured Dog Lying on a Highway

This makes no sense

CLALLAM BAY, Wash. (AP) -- An inmate's attempt to heat up sausages in his toilet went up in smoke when the cooking fire forced a unit evacuation at a Washington prison.
Clallam Bay Corrections Center spokeswoman Denise Larson says 130 inmates were evacuated to a dining hall when smoke was spotted coming from a sewer vent pipe Wednesday evening.
She says the smoke was traced to the inmate's cell and he admitted to trying to heat up snack sausage bought from a prison store in the stainless steel toilet. The inmate's identity has not been released.
The toilet chef has been placed in segregation pending discipline at the prison on Washington's Olympic Peninsula.

Toilet water is not hot. It is not sanitary. And it is definitely not used for cooking. That's just in case this story started giving you any ideas.

I vahnt to suck your blaaaaahd

BOSTON (AP) -- The headmaster of a prestigious Boston school is trying to drive a stake through rumors that vampires roam the campus.
Lynne Mooney Teta sent a notice Thursday to teachers, students and parents associated with Boston Latin School. She denied the presence of vampires and said recent rumors were disrupting classes.
Apparently they were serious enough for Boston police to visit. Spokesman Eddy Chrispin said police were called to the school Wednesday to help quell the rumors.
The school was founded in 1635. Its students have included Ben Franklin, Sam Adams and Louis Farrakhan.

If you ask me (thanks for asking me) anyone who tries really hard to stop a rumor is probably the source of that rumor. Kind of like that old adage, "the one that smelt it probably dealt it."

Free Fallin'

ATLANTA (AP) -- A new, first-of-its-kind government study finds cats and dogs are a factor in more than 86,000 serious falls each year.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports such incidents are still relatively rare, accounting for just about 1 percent of injuries from falls.
But agency officials say pet-related falls are a disproportionate hazard for senior citizens. The rate of injury is nearly twice as high for people 75 and older, and women are twice as likely as men to be injured.
Cats mainly cause injuries by tripping people, but dogs get most of the blame. They trip people, startle people, push them or pull them off balance during walks. They also run away, leading owners to fall while chasing them.
Tumbling over toys is also a problem.
The CDC advises older people to improve lighting, remove pet toys and use obedience training.

I have tripped over Gracie probably about a million times. It's because she's short. Low ground clearance. And I'm really tall. I can dunk.

Love at first sight takes 8 seconds

LOS ANGELES - A study in the journal "Archives of Sexual Behavior," an academic peer-reviewed journal in sexology and the official publication of the International Academy of Sex Research, reported that a man could be in love after just 8.2 seconds of staring at a woman.
But if his gaze lasts just four seconds, he may not be all that impressed.
The same cannot be said of women, however, as they stay focused for the same length of time whether they find the man attractive or not.
The researchers believe that men use eye contact to seek out mates, while women are more wary of attracting unwanted attention.

I'm always wary of attracting unwanted attention. Like if I'm going to laugh really hard I have to leave the room cause I snort. Which I'm told is really sexy and makes men fall in love with me really fast.

If the shoe fits pt. 2

A stylish leather flat with a sterling buckle works well with gym socks and jeans. In the words of photographer Thester, "get you some."

Sometimes you feel like a nut

MORAGA, Calif. (AP) -- Twenty-two students at St. Mary's College of California have done something their predecessors famously did 50 years ago: cram into a phone booth.
Teams competed to fit as many bodies as possible into a phone booth on the campus green Wednesday, a half-century after Life magazine published a now-famous photograph of 22 St. Mary's students stuffed into a phone booth, a popular college stunt in the 1950s.
Current students matched the number in the 1959 image, though they failed to break the campus record of 24 set in 1984.
St. Mary's officials say a South African team set the world record of 25 set in 1958.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the guys at the bottom of that pile don't really count as being "inside the phone booth." What are the rules here? One foot inside counts? Talk about lame. Either way, I hate playing games when I don't know the rules. It ends up being like a game of checkers with C.Ropp... utterly impossible to win, and ultimately upsetting for everyone involved.

Definitely not asparagus

This happened overnight. A coworker at my place o' work watched the whole thing happen. She said she felt like she was watching "the circle of life." I told her that's clearly impossible because the Lion King was not on television this morning, nor were there any antelope, lions, bison, or puppies in the newsroom. Silly coworker.

Daffodils or Asparagus?

I'm just asking. My vote is for daffodils. But only because if that's not what they are then the water is pretty unnecessary. Otherwise I'd go for asparagus because I love it.

Arivederci, Joe

For the next weekish, Joe will be in Italy so I won't have anyone to bother whilst I work. For this reason I may or may not get really bored. This is good for you, viewer, because that means I may or may not have more time to post fun and unimportant news about the world and my dog. I know, I know... I'm being really noncommittal about this whole thing. You can blame Joe. In his absence I have to take on some of his personality traits. Which may or may not include being completely without any strong preference on any one subject.

Too much of a good thing

SEATTLE (AP) -- A mountain of dog food has proven a bit of a headache for the Port of Seattle.
Port officials bought 12.7 tons of kibble in June to test new baggage conveyor systems at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport. In October, the 1,600 bags were stored in a warehouse, with snowstorms keeping it there longer than anticipated.
On Tuesday, port officials voted to donate the dog food to two animal shelters, but it was too much for the outlets in Seattle and King County to store. So the shelters are passing on most of it to food banks for the dogs of people in need.

So what you're saying is the Port of Seattle is a hungry dog's dream world. Good thing Gracie "Lazy-Bones" Gumbo aka Carrot is well-fed. Kind of like Kevin Federline. Have you seen him lately?

I'm jealous of my dog

I'm not lovin' it

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (AP) -- Well, at least the salsa is low-cal.
The West Michigan Whitecaps, a minor league baseball team, will be offering up major league cholesterol, carbohydrates and calories in an enormous hamburger being added to the menu this year at the Fifth Third Ballpark.
The 4-pound, $20 burger features five beef patties, five slices of cheese, nearly a cup of chili and liberal doses of salsa and corn chips, all on an 8-inch sesame-seed bun. That's a lot of dough!
The Grand Rapids Press reports that anyone who eats the entire 4,800-calorie behemoth in one sitting will receive a special T-shirt. Saner fans can divide it up with a pizza cutter and share.
The Midwest League team is a Class A affiliate of the Detroit Tigers.

You don't have to be a rocket surgeon to know 4,800 calories is four times the number I wish I could limit myself to on a daily basis. For that reason alone I am boycotting the West Michigan Whitecaps. I will admit, though, that I'm strangely drawn to their uniquely named stadium: The Fifth Third Ballpark. I happen to bank with Fifth Third. And though its name does nothing but confuse me with fractions and pie graphs, I remain loyal.

If the shoe fits

At work I like to take off my shoes whenever possible. I feel free that way. I work better that way. But today, this is what happened after I gingerly placed my fashionable Born clogs next to my desk. Photographer Thester (size 11) decided to try on my miniature size 7. The end result is pictured above. I don't know about you but it reminds me of the scene in Cinderella when the evil step-sister tries on the glass slipper and her foot is so humongous that it slowly pops out starting from the top. Stupid big-footed-biatch.

Criminals are lucky people

BRIDGEPORT, Conn. (AP) -- Police say they caught a bumbling bank robber who crashed his getaway car and fled by bus and taxi, only to make it home and find his roommate dead.
Authorities found nearly $4,000 stolen from a Darien bank after the suspect called 911 to report the roommate's apparent suicide.
Fifty-nine-year-old David Maksimik was brought before a federal magistrate in Bridgeport Tuesday.
Police say he held up the bank on Jan. 29 and rear-ended another car fleeing the robbery. They say Maksimik didn't make it home until he got rides on a bus, a taxi and with his sister.
Maksimik found his roommate dead and called 911. Police responding to the suicide say they found the bank money inside a bag on Maksimik's bed.

What this story is not telling you is after he found his roommate dead, his mother disowned him, his little sister lost a leg, and his employer fired him. Then he ate an Arby's egg and cheese and got salmonella poisoning. Oh wait, that was this other guy I know.

Does this surprise anyone?

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) -- An Ohio legislative panel has rejected Miami University's plan to spend $167,000 on office chairs after learning officials picked the priciest ones available.
The 333 Aeron-brand chairs cost $522 each.
The Controlling Board, a panel of lawmakers that oversees state spending, voted 6-1 Monday against what normally would be a routine request. Board members say they were dissatisfied with an architect's explanation for why staff and faculty needed the expensive chairs.
A spokeswoman for the Oxford school didn't immediately respond to a request for comment.
Jay Hottinger, a Republican from Newark, was one of the lawmakers who opposed Miami's request. He reminded his colleagues on the panel that they were sitting in $2,000 leather chairs.

Is it just me or are chairs a lot more expensive than you think they should be? Kind of like sofas at Ethan Allen. Or the love of a little white puppy. Oh wait, that's free. Hehe.

This could get awkward

SOUTH BEND, Ind. (AP) -- The Roman Catholic bishop whose diocese includes the University of Notre Dame says he will boycott President Barack Obama's May 17 commencement speech at the Catholic school because of Obama's support for abortion rights and embryonic stem-cell research.
Bishop John D'Arcy of the Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend said Tuesday that Obama's recent decision to federally fund embryonic stem-cell research brought the U.S. government for the first time "into supporting direct destruction of innocent human life."
Obama has said the policy will ease human suffering.
Notre Dame says it doesn't support all of Obama's positions but does not plan to rescind the invitation.
Other sitting presidents, including both Bushes, Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter, also have addressed Notre Dame graduates.

Obama: Whaddya mean you're not coming? I picked out my best suit!
D'Arcy: I just can't, Barry. You have to understand.
Obama: This is crap and you know it.
D'Arcy: I can't let people know we're friends!
Obama: Oh really? That's what this is about? You're ashamed of me, aren't you??
D'Arcy: No, its not that... Its just, you go against everything I believe.
Obama: That's rich, D'Arcy, just rich.
D'Arcy: Oh c'mon, Barry. Don't walk away.
Obama: I can't *bites his lip* I can't be around you right now.
D'Arcy: I understand. Please. Take all the time you need.
Obama: UP yours.

Lend me that electric chair, would ya?

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) -- Residents of a small southwest Nebraska town have a question for state officials: You're not doing anything with that old electric chair, are you?
The Nebraska Supreme Court ruled last year that the state's use of the electric chair was unconstitutional. Some people in McCook -- population just under 8,000 -- think "Old Sparky" could be a tourist attraction and have offered to take it off the state's hands.
Fifteen men were executed in the chair, which is about 210 miles east of McCook at the Nebraska State Penitentiary in Lincoln.
Corrections department spokeswoman Connie Nemec says there are no immediate plans to move the chair.

I'm in the market for a new sofa, as it were. Maybe I could check in with my state government and see if they have any prison cots used by famous felons that I could have. I hear Timothy McVeigh's was awfully comfortable.

I feel better now

Let's be honest:  Life as a puppy is not easy.  Especially when your owners like to watch the Dog Whisperer.  Cesar's formula is exercise, discipline, THEN affection.  It's fair to say that LinzFactory & C.Ropp have not been living by that credo.  Until today.  With inspiration strapped to our bootstraps (is that redundant?), we paid no attention to Gracie "Lazy-Bones" Gumbo aka Carrot this morning.  This resulted in a lot of thrashing of the toys, running laps around the apartment, and whimpering.  A brisk 30 minute walk was had, and the picture above is the end result.  Thanks for the pat on the back, self.  You look fabulous today.

Victory!

WASHINGTON (AP) -- NASA's online contest to name a new room at the international space station went awry. Comedian Stephen Colbert won.
The name "Colbert" beat out NASA's four suggested options in the space agency's effort to have the public help name the addition. The new room will be launched later this year.
NASA's mistake was allowing write-ins. Colbert urged viewers of his Comedy Central show, "The Colbert Report" to write in his name. And they complied, with 230,539 votes. That clobbered Serenity, one of the NASA choices, by more than 40,000 votes. Nearly 1.2 million votes were cast by the time the contest ended Friday.
NASA reserves the right to choose an appropriate name. Agency spokesman John Yembrick said NASA will decide in April, but will give top vote-getters "the most consideration."

Too little too late

HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) -- Connecticut legislators are considering making their state the first in New England to apologize for slavery and other racist policies of old.
A legislative committee is hearing testimony on the resolution Monday.
The resolution says slavery was practiced in Connecticut from the 17th through 19th centuries. There were about 5,100 slaves in the Connecticut colony by the mid-1770s. That's about 3 percent of the population at the time.
The resolution also urges schools and organizations to acknowledge Connecticut's evolution from a colony to a leading state in the abolition movement.
New Jersey last year became the first Northern state to apologize for slavery. Five other states have done so.

Talk about too little too late. This is like calling up your ex-boyfriend from Kindergarten and telling him you're sorry you tattled on him for the time he gifted you his mother's high school class ring. It really was a sweet gesture, but c'mon we were six years old. What was I going to do with a bulky ring engraved with "Class of 1970"? So what if he tried to make up for it with a ring out of a toy dispenser at the roller rink. Do I look like a girl who wears cheap jewelry? Didn't think so. So even if I was sorry (which I'm not) I wouldn't apologize now. What would be the point? I'm not one to pour salt in a wound. Not like you, Connecticut.

A public apology

I want to say I'm sorry to everyone who enjoys pictures of fluffy Gracie.

Let me explain.

You see, I'm an amateur dog groomer. I put my skills to the test this weekend, and ultimately have decided I can't really call what I tested "skills."

I gave Gracie her "spring" haircut. It took all day. And now, she looks like she's molting.

Never fear, I will fix it. But in the meantime, she may or may not be embarrassed to be seen in public.

Gooses, geeses, gahslings

CLEVELAND (AP) -- An Ohio study is trying to determine if Canada geese are to blame for pollution at a Lake Erie beach.
Federal and regional government scientists are checking if goose droppings might be to blame for high bacteria counts at the Euclid Creek/Villa Angela beach at the city line on Cleveland's east side.
Researchers first gathered goose waste from the shoreline in September 2007 to determine whether the bacteria is from humans or the geese. There have been no conclusive findings.
Bacteria in the swimming area has annually made the beach the dirtiest in northeast Ohio, sometimes with bacteria readings hundreds of times higher than any other on Lake Erie. The beach has been closed nearly 50 times per summer in recent years.

There's nothing angrier than a goose. Unless of course you happen upon a dog owner after his or her dog rubs itself in goose poop. Then you're going to want to watch out.

Of course the goose poop is to blame for pollution. Have you seen that shit? (Sorry.)

For the love of Pete

CINCINNATI (AP) -- Some owners of dogs from Petland stores are questioning their pets' health and behavioral issues in the wake of a lawsuit claiming the national chain knowingly sold sick puppies.
The lawsuit filed by six pet owners says an investigation by the Humane Society of the United States showed that many puppies sold by Petland were bred in mills. Animal rights groups say the high-volume breeding facilities harm puppies and lead to illness.
The lawsuit seeking class action status was filed this week against Ohio-based Petland Inc. and its suppliers. It charges that thousands of customers were intentionally misled into believing puppies came from the finest breeders.
Petland says the accusations are false and that it does everything possible to provide customers with healthy, well-socialized pets.

Gracie is a Petland purchase. I've been over that before. But now I am toying with the idea of joining this lawsuit. Clearly Gracie has behavioral issues. That is if being THE CUTEST DOG IN THE WORLD is a behavior issue.

That's what she said

CYPRESS, Calif. (AP) -- A 15-year-old in Southern California who hopes to become a firefighter saved his English teacher's life with the Heimlich maneuver when she was choking on an almond.
Judy Rader said she popped a few of the nuts into her mouth at the start of Wednesday's third period class at Cypress High School. Freshman Sam Barrera sprang into action after she started hopping up and down and gasping.
The teen wrapped his arms around her from behind and squeezed hard, dislodging the nut. He learned the lifesaving technique in an online health course.
For the effort, the teacher rewarded Barrera with a big hug of her own.

I know I don't have the *cleanest* mind in the world, but its certainly not the dirtiest. And to me, this reads more like soft-you-know-what than a news article. It probably doesn't help that I've highlighted certain portions of the story so its difficult to read anything but what I want you to read. I'm truly a maniacal blogger. Read what I tell you to read, viewer! Muahahaha!

In Detroit, even the lions are gangsters

ROYAL OAK, Mich. (AP) -- Three lions from an animal refuge in western Kansas, including one that mauled a man, have been cleared to move to the Detroit Zoo.
The zoo announced Thursday that the lions passed medical testing ensuring they will not transmit diseases to other animals. They are expected to arrive around the end of the month.
Last month in Kansas, refuge owner Jeffrey Harsh found a man with his arm over the top of a gate in an inner cage. The lion had grabbed his right arm and had to be beaten with a steal pipe before releasing it.
The zoo says the lions will be placed in quarantine for 30 days to ensure they are healthy and acclimating well before joining the zoo's other three lions.

Lion #1: Shoot, B. I effed that mother-effer up, yo!
Lion #2: I seen it, homey! You was like, "raaaahr" and then that crackah was like "aaah!"
Lion #1: Man I is NOT takin' shizzle from them humans no mo!
Lion #2: We ain't gonna have to, yo! We goin to Deeeeee-tooown!

No shoes, no shirt, no cell phone service

HART TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) -- Police say a naked 14-year-old boy taking a walk with a large white poodle has assaulted a woman in Michigan.
Sheriff's Lt. Craig Mast says the boy walked away from a behavioral treatment facility Monday. He was strolling unclothed in Hart Township with the dog when he encountered a 53-year-old woman in her yard.
Mast says, "The young naked man approached her with this poodle, and she immediately realized something peculiar."
They spoke briefly. When the woman took out a cell phone to call for help, the boy pushed her and fled with the phone, which he later broke in half.
Deputies found the boy. He's charged in juvenile court with strong-arm robbery and assault.

No public indecency charges? Really? This kid was flappin' in the wind and everyone is upset about a broken cell phone?

Personally, I'm concerned for the white poodle. (Obviously). Dogs don't like it when people are naked. They think it draws attention to the fact that they aren't wearing clothes either.

The wind beneath my wings

That there is a doggy in that mirror. She's gotter head out the windah and she's lookin' mighty happy. Thought I'd share that withya. Wondering about the hick accent and poor grammer? Don't. What you should wonder about is the same thing I am wondering: How did C.Ropp manage to take this picture, hold onto Gracie, and drive at the same time? Sounds like a tricky maneuver to me.

I wish I was a little bit taller

Gracie "Lazy-Bones" Gumbo a.k.a. Carrot Scruffaluphugus is very happy to have her deck space back. Now that the weather is warming up, she's spending lots of time staring at construction workers who like to ruin people's mornings, afternoons, and evenings. Needless to say, she's sunbathing, and she's really happy about it.

Don't go to New Jersey if you want to go to Brazil

TRENTON, N.J. (AP) -- New Jersey is drawing the line when it comes to bikini waxing.
The state Cosmetology and Hairstyling Board is moving toward a ban on genital waxing altogether after two women reported being injured.
Both women were hospitalized for infections following so-called "Brazilian" waxes.
Technically, genital waxing has never been allowed -- only the face, neck, abdomen, legs and arms are permitted. But because the bare-it-all "Brazilian" version wasn't specifically banned, state regulators haven't enforced the law.
The board will decide on April 14 whether to adopt explicit language banning genital waxing.
The earliest the ban would take effect would be sometime in May, just ahead of swimsuit season.
Salons which continue to perform the "Brazilian" could face fines.

Ouch. Not only would a Brazilian hurt like an I don't know what, but I cannot imagine being hospitalized for taking care of down there. Still, its just one more reason that no one should go to New Jersey. A state that takes away your right to wax your... areas... is going too far. Kind of like a person who decides to get a Brazilian wax. But hey - not my call. And not yours either New Jersey!

That is so not right...

NEW YORK (AP) -- A "Project Runway" finalist is accused of using her cat as a weapon during a spat with her ex-fiance.
Kenley Collins told the New York Post that the Brooklyn police report exaggerated the incident. She calls it "a miscommunication."
According to the Post and Daily News, Zak Penley told authorities Collins woke him Tuesday by tossing the cat in his face. He said the cat-apault was followed by a laptop toss. Three apples and some water also made it into the mix.
Penley called 911; Collins was charged with assault.
Collins had a sharp-tongued reputation on the Bravo TV fashion-design competition.
Penley, an artist and musician, wrote a song called "CAT?" for Collins' "Runway" finale.

I have nothing to say except this: NOT COOL.

It wasn't me

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Now it can be told: The mysterious petty theft that President Barack Obama's new computer chief committed at age 21 was shoplifting four dress shirts worth $134 from J.C. Penney.
A 1996 Montgomery County, Md., police report obtained by The Associated Press on Wednesday under a public records law shows Vivek Kundra was observed by a security guard putting the men's shirts into a shopping bag and leaving the store without paying. Sgt. Tom Stanton wrote that Kundra was arrested after a brief foot chase and the property was recovered.
Kundra pleaded guilty, paid a $100 fine and $55 in court fees and was ordered to do 80 hours of community service. The White House has called it a "youthful indiscretion" long ago resolved.

Guys like Kundra are why I'm so paranoid in stores. I hate to be caught in a foot chase, so I hold my potential purchases out away from my body in full view as if to say to the security cameras "you can trust me."

They make everyone uncomfortable

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Animal rights activists and the Ringling Bros. circus are getting their final say in a seven-year court battle over treatment of elephants under the big top.
Both sides were to offer closing arguments Wednesday in a six-week trial over circus trainers' use on elephants of chains and metal-tipped prods called bull hooks.
The Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus says it needs the tools to control the huge animals and protect the public and says the elephants aren't harmed.
Animal rights advocates say the instruments injure the elephants in violation of the Endangered Species Act. They want the circus the stop using elephants in their shows.
Ringling Bros. says the circus is nothing without elephants.

I'll tell you what activists (and frankly, everyone) should really worry about: Clowns. Oh, yeah. No one ever takes Ringling Bros. to court over those scary mother-effers. How about banning the practice of scaring the shizzle out of little children? Or putting a trade embargo on those stupid red noses or floppy shoes? After all, there's no other way to stop a clown than to take away his facade. A clown without his mask is nothing but a pedophile.

I have the perfect solution, and may even write the judge a letter about this: I agree with the activists (for once) and I think they should stop using the metal-tipped bull hooks on the quiet, solemn, and gentle elephants. But don't let that expensive equipment go to waste. Use it on those crazy contortionists. They make everyone uncomfortable.

Intelligence for your life

John Tesh, who many of you may have heard of and more people have probably not heard of, is going to be at my place o' work today. He hosts a radio show called "Intelligence for your Life," and is also a musician with some spectacle of a concert coming to town. This man intrigues me because in many ways I feel that he and I have a lot in common. Tesh doesn't want to just be a singer. He wants to be a singer, a musician, a radio talk show host, the host of entertainment tonight, a psychologist and a goon. I'm not a goon. But I do wish I could sing. Irregardless, we're basically the same person because I want to be a journalist, a dog breeder, a mom, a congressional aide, a farmer's wife, and a professional camper. See? We're the same! Except based on this post, its pretty obvious I'm not providing anyone with any intelligence for their life.

Cute things falling asleep

I can't go 55mph

A beautiful day. A beautiful sprint. Click here. Don't be scared. Its just Gracie.

One helluva role model

LANSING, Mich. (AP) -- Michigan's Tobacco Quit Line has quit.
The hot line began last week to offer callers free nicotine patches, gum or lozenges to help them quit smoking or chewing tobacco. By Monday, the heavy volume of calls had overwhelmed the hot line.
State officials say the hot line will shut down until October because the department has run out of the free products. The new budget year starts Oct. 1.
The quit line was contacted by more than 65,600 callers in five days, and more than 400 staff members were fielding calls.
Nearly 2,200 people have enrolled in the quit tobacco program so far.

Hi! Welcome to the quit hotline! We can't come to the phone right now. In fact, we want you to quit smoking so badly, that we are going show you how to quit firsthand.

Click.

Change we can believe in

WASHINGTON (AP) -- They haven't dyed the Potomac River green, but the Obamas are bringing a splash of their hometown St. Patrick's Day celebrations to the White House.
The fountains on the north and south lawns have been dyed green to mark the national holiday of Ireland. Spokeswoman Katie McCormick Lelyveld says first lady Michelle Obama came up with the idea to bring "a little piece of home" for their new home.
Chicago marks St. Patrick's Day by dyeing its river green. Lelyveld says it's the first time the fountains have gone green. And they'll remain that way until the dye runs out.
President Barack Obama is marking the holiday by meeting with Irish leaders and attending St. Patrick's Day events in the White House and on Capitol Hill.

I'm inspired. And so glad Obama is bringing the kind of change to this country that we have all been waiting for. Food coloring is definitely better than politics, in my opinion. What else can you count on to stain your clothes? Well, I guess there are a lot of other things that could do that, but I'd rather not get into it. Suffice to say, green fountains = great use of taxpayer dollars in a time of recession.

Idon'tbelieveyou.com

MUSKEGON TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) -- A high school senior from Michigan who wants to attend the University of Notre Dame has turned to the Internet for financial help.
Seventeen-year-old Rachel Harris spells out her case at her Web site IWantToGoToNotreDame.com.
She says she has applied for admission to the school and expects to be accepted.
Harris says she carries a 3.97 grade-point average and is ranked 10th in her class at Reeths-Puffer High School in Muskegon County's Muskegon Township.
She says she has been accepted to the University of Michigan but hopes to raise enough money from donations through the site to attend the more expensive Notre Dame.
Harris plans to pursue a degree in biomolecular engineering and then attend medical school to become a pediatric endocrinologist.

I believed this girl until the end of that article. No one wants to be an endocrinologist. She probably plans on taking the money and running. That's what I'd do. That is, if I wanted to go to college. Which I don't. Cause I've already been and I learned that duping people for money is a lot more lucrative than any job you can get with a bachelor's degree.

Florida is so friendly

MIAMI (AP) -- Got a spare rhesus monkey, Mexican spiny-tailed iguana or Cuban tree frog causing trouble around the house?
Wildlife officials in Florida and the Miami Metrozoo are holding their fifth annual Non-native Pet Amnesty Day on Saturday.
Owners of exotic pets are allowed to turn them in without facing the usual fines and other penalties for violating the state's wildlife laws.
Wildlife officials say the amnesty day gives overwhelmed pet owners an alternative to releasing exotic animals into Florida's ecosystem.

Don't you hate it when your spiny-tailed iguana gets in your bed at night? I'm like, yo, Iguana.. I don't wanna you around. (Sorry.) But seriously folks, what's the deal with Cuban tree frogs???

First Amendment

As a journalist, I love the first amendment.  It's the best amendment ever.

Unfortunately, Puppies Love the News is not a democracy.  It's more like the relationship between a dog and its owner.  The owner makes the rules.  The puppy follows those rules.  If the puppy doesn't follow the rules, he gets sprayed in the face with a vinegar/water mixture.

Consider yourself sprayed, Anonymous Poster.

I'd be so pissed

SPOKANE, Wash. (AP) -- For $27 a Washington state woman got a used couch and a mystery -- a strange mewing sound coming from inside the sofa.
After days of searching for the source, Vickie Mendenhall's boyfriend discovered a very hungry calico cat living inside the couch Tuesday night. It had been there for nearly three weeks, apparently crawling in through a small hole on the underside.
The Spokesman-Review in Spokane reports Mendenhall took the cat to the animal shelter where she works, so it could recover.
She also contacted Value Village, where she bought the couch, but the store had no information on who donated it.
Next, she contacted media outlets in hopes of finding the owner. That tactic worked -- an acquaintance alerted Bob Killion of a TV story about the cat, and he was able to reclaim Callie.

So clearly that is the worst possible scenario ever to come out of furniture shopping. Cats are horrible. They don't like people. Why hasn't anybody figured that out yet? I will never understand why people continue to get cats as pets even though its clear the feline-devils have no interest in loving you. They take advantage of that kitty-kibble though don't they? Oh yeah, no complaints when it comes to free food, but you want them to hang out with you for a little while... I don't know, show a little GRATITUDE for the life you've given them and nooooo... they can't be bothered! And then one of them (probably the one without the tail) will start rubbing up against your leg and you'll have to hide in the bathroom until the parents of those brat-kids you were babysitting FINALLY come home.

Not that I've ever experienced something like that.

Don't drink the water

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) -- Hospital officials say 10 children drank windshield wiper fluid after staffers at an Arkansas daycare center mistook the liquid for Kool-Aid.
A pediatrician at Arkansas Children's Hospital in Little Rock says the children, ages 2 to 6, are OK, but continue to be monitored. The doctor said each child drank about an ounce late Thursday afternoon.
The hospital did not identify the Scott community daycare. State child welfare officials did not immediately return a call for comment Friday.
The fluid contained toxic alcohols. A pediatric toxicologist says those chemicals can cause kidney damage and blindness.

Dear God,
Please give me the money to avoid sending my children to daycare. Ever.
Love,
LinzFactory

A lesson I have learned

This is my favorite picture of Gracie. At three months old, her head was way bigger than the rest of her body. It's difficult to tell, but she was only seven pounds. That toy is about the size of a tennis ball.

See, the fact that I have to explain all this leads me to the lesson I have learned: When things are small because they are young, take LOTS of pictures. If something is small just because that's the way it is, don't worry about it.

I was too busy teaching little Carrot to stop going #2 in her crate to take enough pictures. And now, she's a teenager. Rambunctious, free-wielding, and hard-headed. She sleeps until noon every day and refuses to do her homework. I say "shake" and she stares at me. Thinks she knows more about her toys than I do. Impossible, I tell you.

But I digress.

The point (which may seem painfully obvious) is she will never be that small again. I have very little documentation of how teeny tiny she really was, which makes me regretful. Which most definitely sucks.

Alas, pictures of my children will look like a timelapse.

Bow-wow-wow-yippy-oh-yippy-ay

TRAVERSE CITY, Mich. (AP) -- A hungry, neglected dog needs a home after being discovered in a plastics recycling bin in Traverse City.
The dog was found Wednesday night in the container at United Waste.
WPBN-WTOM-TV reports he was taken to a local veterinary hospital for treatment.
Doctors say the dog is 5 to 6 years old but apparently never has received proper care. He's underweight, has bad teeth, hasn't been neutered and has frostbitten ears.
Even so, they say he has a good disposition and is calm. After about six weeks of treatment, they say he should make a good pet.

This story is a good example of how dogs are nicer than humans. Put a human in a dumpster for the majority of his life and he'll be all "life's not fair, wah wah wah, pay for my college tuition." A dog on the other hand, not a big deal.

Name that space station

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The crew of the international space station survived a close call with space junk Thursday.
The three crew members took refuge for 11 minutes in the Soyuz escape capsule and then were told to go back into the space station. Officials were worried about a possible collision with a piece of space junk.
The debris was was about one-third of an inch in width, said NASA spokesman Josh Byerly.

It's a good thing they survived that close call. Cause if there was a big disaster, it'd be less likely that those astronauts would end up living in the Colbert Space Station. That is, if Stephen has his way.

Australian accents are the best

Life is so hard for white puppies

Gracie "Lazy-Bones" Gumbo (aka Carrot) is looking kinda green around the gills in this photo. I can assure you, she's fine. The camera phone, however, doesn't seem to know how to white-balance.

According to C.Ropp this is a photo of the "beast awakening" which is further proven by the fire in her eyes.

Catching some Zees

123 Sesame Street

NEW YORK (AP) -- The crisis on Wall Street is plaguing Sesame Street.
Sesame Workshop, the nonprofit producer of "Sesame Street" and other kids' programs, is cutting about one-fifth of its work force because of the economic downturn.
The New York-based company said Wednesday that it's eliminating 67 of 355 staff positions.
Declaring it is "not immune to the unprecedented challenges of today's economic environment," the company pronounced a need "to operate with fewer resources in order to achieve our strategic priorities."
The statement reiterated the organization's mission "of helping children reach their highest potential here and around the globe."

Hi! I'm Elmo! Can you spell "recession"? I can! O-B-A-M-A! Wow! We are so smart! Way to go! Gimme four!

My old friend Galia

I love this song because it reminds me of the casual but flirtatious bar scene in Bloomington. Anyone who went to a Big Ten university will probably understand what I mean. And if you like chick folk rock then I know you will like it.

Selfish people suck

FORT WAYNE, Ind. (LF) -- Official documents say selfish people really suck. Those documents also prove that selfish people should open up their eyes and realize they are not the only people in the entire world and that other people have problems too and just because they're the loudest person around that doesn't mean that other people don't have feelings.

Okay, fine. You got me. That wasn't a real news story...

My favorite peach-colored tee shirt

AP-IN--Parke County Slayings,0125
Parke County man pleading guilty to triple murder
Eds: APNewsNow.
NOBLESVILLE, Ind. (AP) -- A Parke County man is heading off his death-penalty trial by pleading guilty to charges that he killed his wife and her two young daughters.
A judge has appointed two psychiatrists to examine Chad Cottrell before a hearing Friday on whether the guilty plea to three counts of murder will be accepted.
Cottrell is charged with fatally shooting 29-year-old Trisha Cottrell, 12-year-old Brittany Williams and 10-year-old Victoria Williams at their rural home near the western Indiana town of Rockville in October 2005.
Cottrell made the guilty plea on Friday. His trial was scheduled to start March 23 in Hamilton County, where the case had been moved because of publicity over the killings in Parke County.
(Copyright 2009 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)
APNP-03-09-09 1047CDT

I'll have you know, Parke County happens to be the "Covered Bridge Capitol of the World." In fact, I have a peach-colored tee shirt from an antique shop in Parke County. You'll never guess what it says on the front.

Here's a hint: It does not say "The Crazy Murderer Capitol of the World."