They make everyone uncomfortable

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Animal rights activists and the Ringling Bros. circus are getting their final say in a seven-year court battle over treatment of elephants under the big top.
Both sides were to offer closing arguments Wednesday in a six-week trial over circus trainers' use on elephants of chains and metal-tipped prods called bull hooks.
The Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus says it needs the tools to control the huge animals and protect the public and says the elephants aren't harmed.
Animal rights advocates say the instruments injure the elephants in violation of the Endangered Species Act. They want the circus the stop using elephants in their shows.
Ringling Bros. says the circus is nothing without elephants.

I'll tell you what activists (and frankly, everyone) should really worry about: Clowns. Oh, yeah. No one ever takes Ringling Bros. to court over those scary mother-effers. How about banning the practice of scaring the shizzle out of little children? Or putting a trade embargo on those stupid red noses or floppy shoes? After all, there's no other way to stop a clown than to take away his facade. A clown without his mask is nothing but a pedophile.

I have the perfect solution, and may even write the judge a letter about this: I agree with the activists (for once) and I think they should stop using the metal-tipped bull hooks on the quiet, solemn, and gentle elephants. But don't let that expensive equipment go to waste. Use it on those crazy contortionists. They make everyone uncomfortable.