There's no place like home

WATERFORD TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) -- Tinker Bell has been reunited with her owners after a 70-mph gust of wind picked up the six-pound Chihuahua and tossed her out of sight.
Dorothy and Lavern Utley credit a pet psychic for guiding them on Monday to a wooded area nearly a mile from where 8-month-old Tinker Bell had been last seen. The brown long-haired dog was dirty and hungry but otherwise OK.
The Utleys, of Rochester, had set up an outdoor display Saturday at a flea market in Waterford Township, 25 miles northwest of Detroit. Tinker Bell was standing on their platform trailer when she was swept away.
Dorothy Utley tells The Detroit News that her cherished pet "just went wild" upon seeing her.

Don't tell me it's a coincidence that the woman in this story is named Dorothy. And don't for a second think that the gust of wind wasn't the act of a selfish, self-serving, wizard who really isn't a wizard at all but actually just a man behind a curtain with some fancy switches and lights and fog machines who is in cahoots with a Wicked Witch of the West. Pshah! It can't possibly be a coincidence that the wizard and that witch really did get that Dorothy and her little dog too! And lastly, don't even for a moment think I couldn't go on and on about this topic for hours and create longer and even more grammatically incorrect sentences that lack the typical subject, object, verb configuration. Are we clear?